Robert Benchley's Quotes

Robert Benchley's Quotes 23

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times...

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze...

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have...

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I...

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I...

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class and with children.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity perseverance and to turn around three times...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children as they are already stretched...

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze...

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language I said nothing.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things and I have...

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing but I...

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and...

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death but then I'm in no hurry.

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a...

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The lonely become either thoughtful or empty.

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