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You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing.
The most romantic thing I ever did to my woman? I painted her toenails!
There's nothing in the world like live entertainment. With TV, you have to...
I have my Lucky Charms in the morning, and I feel magical.
My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in...
If I had to describe my sense of humor, I would say it's contemporary wit,...
We have freedom of speech, but you got to watch what you say.
People live too much of their lives on email or the Internet or text messages...
I do stand up sometimes out of anger. Sometimes the greatest stuff comes from...
Listen, Bruce Lee fought out of anger. That's why they call it the 'Fists of...
You get somebody to crack a smile that's a beautiful thing.
Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show...
My sense of humor is a turkey and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in...
I have snakes three sharks moray eels piranhas five scorpions and a bird...
Wisely, and slow. They stumble that run fast.
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