Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

With the education I had, all I could do was work as a burro, in whatever I could find: shoeshine boy, janitor, dishwasher, waiter, bartender, cashier, bricklayer, painter.

I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.

Venting your anger on anyone - especially complete strangers - is not a winning tactic. Be especially sweet to bartenders and people serving you food.

I'm on Tinder. I work mostly in gay clubs and I would have really bad relationships because I would meet aspiring models or bartenders or go-go dancers... not always the best choices! So I got on Tinder because one of my friends was on it. It's amazing. I can get more of what I like. I love it.

I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. I think, in a way, that was my acting school.

Equality begins in the mind. If in our own mind we have a pedestal for the billionaire and royalty, and no place for the janitor and the bartender, then even a thousand policy reforms won't be able to equalize such a cockeyed, internally broken society.

If you want to learn about life, learn from the janitor, learn from the bartender, learn from the hooker, learn from the underpaid teacher, but don't make the materialistic mistake of glorifying billionaires and celebrities.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist two plumbers and a bartender.

I was a bartender for a long time so I know how to make drinks but I'm more likely to offer them than to have them. I think this is one of the reasons why I get to live longer than my great-grandmother did and why I get to produce more writing than she did and why my marriage isn't in dire straits.

Now I need to take a piece of wood and make it sound like the railroad track but I also had to make it beautiful and lovable so that a person playing it would think of it in terms of his mistress a bartender his wife a good psychiatrist - whatever.

Yeah I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.

I was so lucky to have parents who supported me 100% with whatever I was doing both financially and emotionally. Having that they made my life so much easier. Instead of becoming a bartender and trying to survive while trying to pursue your dreams I didn't have to worry about that aspect. I could just pursue my dreams.

I could finally quit my job as a bartender and stop dreaming that I might be Superman and know that I was. Then I started thinking about how cool it was.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.