Every day, I would show up, and there were no kids, just me and my teacher in my classroom. Every day, I would be escorted by marshals past a mob of people protesting and boycotting the school. This went on for a whole year.

"When they reached a maintenance closet, Iko ushered the escort-droid inside.

Well enough," I reply. "Remember, you're drunk. And happy. You're supposed to be lusting over your escort. Try smiling a little more.

I'm in prison. But my heart and mind is free. Gangsta haters on the streets are doing more time than me. They need 30 police escorts with them every time they walk down the street.

I was a little doubtful about the propriety of going to the Mammoth Cave without a gentleman escort but if two ladies travel alone they must have the courage of men.