I'm thankful my parents obliged me to live with the unvarnished truth: I might not have been a looker, but I was a better speller than the prettiest girl in my class, and I was funnier, too.

By the time I got to the point where I was 'starring' in movies, and I had executives telling me what lines to say, that wasn't for me. I'm really not an actor. I'm a guy who comes out of comedy, and my impetus was always to rewrite the line to make it funnier, not to try to make somebody's precious words work.

Learning a game and doing something wrong is sometimes funnier than being good at it.

You can find heroism everyday, like guys working terrible jobs because they've got to support their families. Or as far as humor, the things I see on the job, on the street, are far funnier than anything you'll ever see on TV.

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'

When audiences come to see us authors lecture, it is largely in the hope that we'll be funnier to look at than to read.

Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick.

I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people.

I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'

Getting into shape helped get me into a better mood, and when I'm in a better mood, I'm funnier. My general attitude is better.

I have rage and anger issues. So I get mad about stuff in real life, and then I yell about it onstage, and luckily, something funny ends up coming out. What I'll do is tape-record it, and it will end up coming out even funnier. And I add more punch lines.

"Our reality is getting funnier and funnier, comical nightmare of black humor, and funny and scary, shock humor. The comical, dreamlike paradoxes of egoism are becoming more and more.

All around the dining hall, you can feel the rejuvenating effect that a good meal can bring on. The way it can make people kinder, funnier, more optimistic, and remind them it's not a mistake to go on living. It's better than any medicine.

What doesn't kill us makes us funnier.

Everything is funnier in retrospect, funnier and prettier and cooler. You can laugh at anything from far enough away.

The animals that depend on instinct have an inherent knowledge of the laws of economics and of how to apply them Man with his powers of reason has reduced economics to the level of a farce which is at once funnier and more tragic than Tobacco Road.

You can find heroism everyday like guys working terrible jobs because they've got to support their families. Or as far as humor the things I see on the job on the street are far funnier than anything you'll ever see on TV.

But I think Kiss Kiss Bang Bang really got that thing where if a movie reads really funny and then has some dramatic or violent or sinister stuff in it you can't forget that primarily it has to be even funnier than you read it or that other stuff doesn't work.

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor I'm just gonna tell her 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you they can't really fire you and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'