I have a pet lizard named Puff, five goldfish - named Pinky, Brain, Jowels, Pearl and Sandy, an oscar fish named Chef, two pacus, an albino African frog named Whitey, a bonsai tree, four Venus flytraps, a fruit fly farm and sea monkeys.

I think there's something great and generic about goldfish. They're everybody's first pet.

A few years ago, the city council of Monza, Italy, barred pet owners from keeping goldfish in curved bowls... saying that it is cruel to keep a fish in a bowl with curved sides because, gazing out, the fish would have a distorted view of reality. But how do we know we have the true, undistorted picture of reality?

I've got a new invention. It's a revolving bowl for tired goldfish.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

One of the downsides of being famous is that folks pay far more attention to you than they should. American celebrities are constantly under surveillance, and every word they say is subject to scrutiny. So, be careful what you wish for if you desire fame. No human being should be a goldfish.

We think of computers as smart and powerful machines. But your goldfish is smarter.

It's amazing how a simple brief phone call can pick up the spirits of the most dejected hamster, the most stressed goldfish and the most neurotic cat.

Sometimes wisdom came from strange places, even from giant teenaged goldfish.

I think there's something great and generic about goldfish. They're everybody's first pet.

I have a pet lizard named Puff five goldfish - named Pinky Brain Jowels Pearl and Sandy an oscar fish named Chef two pacus an albino African frog named Whitey a bonsai tree four Venus flytraps a fruit fly farm and sea monkeys.

I've got a new invention. It's a revolving bowl for tired goldfish.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.