Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one.

Shut up!" Eve yelled from somewhere upstairs. "Jackass!

And Nate? You kiss like a slobbering dog, you have bad breath, and you wouldn't know how to punch the right buttons on a girl if we came with manuals. Happy Thanksgiving, Jackass.

When you call upon a Thoroughbred he gives you all the speed strength of heart and sinew in him. When you call on a jackass he kicks.

Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.