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Largely this is a class thing - writers tend to be cosseted little middle-class kiddies who think that the world owes them a royalty cheque. But just doing it - being in your room for years on end locked in your head alone with invented ghosts - it weakens and softens the body. And I know I can't just live in my head.

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Every footballer plays with the hope that people love to watch you. But, for me, there is no sympathy or interest. I don't seem to have any charm for fans.

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