A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan.

I had Hallowe'en parties every year, as it was my birthday five days before. My parents would actually put prosthetic noses on, and my dad would wear a top-hat and tails, put on a fake curly moustache, and hold a pipe.

"How anybody can compose a story by word of mouth face to face with a bored-looking secretary with a notebook is more than I can imagine. Yet many authors think nothing of saying, 'Ready, Miss Spelvin? Take dictation. Quote no comma Sir Jasper Murgatroyd comma close quotes comma said no better make it hissed Evangeline comma quote I would not marry you if you were the last person on earth period close quotes Quote well comma I'm not so the point does not arise comma close quotes replied Sir Jasper twirling his moustache cynically period And so the long day wore on period End of chapter.'

They say it's good but I didn't know what I was doing until I got into the suit and they put the moustache on me and somehow when I got all the drag on it came out. It was the most amazing thing. I'm truly extraordinary.

My 'Movember' moustache was never going to be as big as Nigel Mansell's but I tried my best. The amazing thing is that when you try to grow a moustache you notice everyone else's. There are some amazing moustaches on the grid.