Beverly Hills is too intimidating. Everyone's got lovely teeth, so you don't want to smile. Everyone's ripped, so you start working out at 4 in the morning and eating egg white omelets.

Omelettes, I'd say, are my secret weapon in terms of diet: I love them, they're nice and easy to make, they're very nutritious, and they're low in carbs.

I like day-after-Christmas omelets, day-after Christmas pizzas... Or you take croissant rolls, put gravy on top, turkey, mashed potatoes, cheese, more gravy. That sounds good!

We're young. We're supposed to drink too much. We're supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other's brains out. We were designed to party. We owe it to ourselves to party hard. We owe it to each other. This is it. This is our time. So a few of us will overdose, or go mental. Charles Darwin said you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. That's what it's about - breakin' eggs - by eggs, I mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of class. As. If you could see yourselves... We had it all. We have fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful... We're screw-ups. I plan on staying a screw-up until my late twenties, or maybe even my early thirties. And I will shag my own mum before I let anyone else take that away from me!

Here's a little mote of wisdom: Not everyone who claims to be an expert, is indeed an expert. Please note: I have never claimed to be an expert on anything except perhaps making the perfect omelet, and if you don't like spicy, you'd probably argue with me on that one, too. In fact, anyone claiming to be an expert on anything, in my opinion, should immediately be viewed with suspicion, or be able to produce a PhD Diploma on the subject he or she is professing to be expert in.

I always like to start my morning with a good amount of fruit. I really like pineapple particularly because of the enzymes that it has. Sometimes I have oatmeal. But if I'm feeling like I really want to be watching my weight more then I definitely do a protein like an omelet scrambled eggs or some smoked salmon.

There is a bright spot or two for the Spaniards. French toast has become freedom toast on the Air Force One breakfast menu but the Spanish omelet is still a Spanish omelet.

You know out-of-touch liberals like Barack Obama say they want a strong economy but in everything they do they show they don't like business very much. But the economy of course is simply the product of all the businesses of the nation added together. So it's a bit like saying you like an omelet but you don't like eggs.

I cannot go to Montreal without going to Beauty's my favorite place for breakfast where I have the Mish-Mash omelet with hot dogs salami eggs green peppers and onions and the best banana bread in the world. It's legendary!