The first product I ever used was my mom's foundation. When I was younger, I had pimples, so I just slapped it on and hoped it would fix the situation. It never did, because it was about 18 shades too light for me.

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

What can you do if they have slapped you with a legal notice? You have to reply. For all you know, they have taken you to jail or something.

Out of nowhere, one of the twins grabbed my cap while the other delivered a blow to my head. She slapped the taste right out of my mouth. I couldn't even feel my tongue. I spun around to face my bullies. The twins had become triplets. I couldn't remember ever trying to drink three glasses of anything and this wouldn't be the day to try.

I was in the biggest breakdown of my life when I stopped crying long enough to let the words of my epiphany really sink in. That whore, karma, had finally made her way around, and had just bitch-slapped me right across the face. The realization only made me cry harder.

Jace looked as if she had slapped him. "Why are you determined not to believe us?

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.