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God tolerates even our stammering, and pardons our ignorance whenever something inadvertently escapes us - as, indeed, without this mercy there would be no freedom to pray.
I don't like talking unnecessarily, and my communication skills are zilch. I just can't converse with people. Maybe it's because of my stuttering or stammering, but I'm not confident of talking with people. I only talk to very close friends and family.
I believe in fiction and the power of stories because that way we speak in tongues. We are not silenced. All of us, when in deep trauma, find we hesitate, we stammer; there are long pauses in our speech. The thing is stuck. We get our language back through the language of others. We can turn to the poem. We can open the book. Somebody has been there for us and deep-dived the words.
Doubt not, O poet, but persist. Say 'It is in me, and shall out.' Stand there, balked and dumb, stuttering and stammering, hissed and hooted, stand and strive, until at last rage draw out of thee that dream-power which every night shows thee is thine own; a power transcending all limit and privacy, and by virtue of which a man is the conductor of the whole river of electricity.
"Creation discloses a power that baffles our minds and beggars our speech. We are enamored and enchanted by God's power. We stutter and stammer about God's holiness. We tremble before God's majesty...
"I? What are you saying, Zsadist?" she stammered, even though she'd heard every word.
Words can never fully say what we want them to say, for they fumble, stammer, and break the best porcelain. The best one can hope for is to find along the way someone to share the path, content to walk in silence, for the heart communes best when it does not try to speak.
I'm convinced there's a small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer.
God tolerates even our stammering and pardons our ignorance whenever something inadvertently escapes us - as indeed without this mercy there would be no freedom to pray.
When it's time for me to walk away from something I walk away from it. My mind my body my conscience tell me that enough is enough.
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