Dave Barry's Quotes

Dave Barry's Quotes 82

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human...

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The...

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they...

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the...

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a...

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so...

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless...

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they...

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour...

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a...

Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would...

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants,...

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