Erma Bombeck's Quotes

Erma Bombeck's Quotes 102

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in...

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary...

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally...

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals...

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white?...

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to...

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere...

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're...

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a...

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not...

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Never order food in excess of your body weight.

Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out...

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children...

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as...

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until...

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have...

Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

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