Garrison Keillor's Quotes

Garrison Keillor's Quotes 44

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us,...

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are...

I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy,...

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food...

My religion would be a gentle faith that believed in the sacredness of...

Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a...

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm,...

Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it...

Cursing is highly effective in person - someone kicks his car in rage,...

A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and...

"And then I stand in front of God's Throne squinting up at His blazing glory...

Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to...

The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and...

When in doubt, look intelligent.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think...

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory like a thunderstorm...

Thank you dear God for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it...

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