George Carlin's Quotes

George Carlin's Quotes 97

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had...

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried...

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere,...

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things...

Religion is just mind control.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do...

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated...

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is...

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls...

Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom

He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could...

There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and...

It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.

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Anthony de Mello Truth

If what you seek is Truth, there is one thing you must have above all else." "I know. An overwhelming passion for it." "No. An unremitting readiness to admit you may be wrong.

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