George Carlin's Quotes

George Carlin's Quotes 97

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat...

Electricity is really just organized lightning

And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your...

If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and...

It's never just a game when you're winning.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and...

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to...

I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own...

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that...

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and...

I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not...

"People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really...

Meow" means "woof" in cat.

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and...

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

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Anuj Jasani Wisdom

If you fail once or twice in something it is fine but if you fail in something a hundred times then you can become the only successful person in that thing in this world.

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