W. C. Fields's Quotes

W. C. Fields's Quotes 49

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great...

I like children - fried.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for...

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food...

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and...

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the...

If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

Hell I never vote for anybody I always vote against.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Never try to impress a woman because if you do she'll expect you to keep up...

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