I like my shame straight up and honest, and nobody does it better than In-N-Out Burger. You go to In-N-Out Burger, and they ask you the most shameful question in fast food. 'I'll have a burger, fries and a Coke.' 'Will you be eating in the car?' 'Yeah. I think so.'

When cattle ranchers clear rain forests to raise beef to sell to fast-food chains that make hamburgers to sell to Americans, who have the highest rate of heart disease in the world (and spend the most money per GNP on health care), we can say easily that business is no longer developing the world. We have become its predator.

We take the hamburger business more seriously than anyone else.

There are times I have to diet 16 weeks at a go, and I had to miss out on stuff I love, like burgers and birthday parties.

I love mayonnaise. Every birthday when I was a kid I'd go to Black Angus and just dip my burger in mayo.

When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places, the obscure barbecue joints, burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I'm obsessed with - one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing.

"One reason might be that if I hadn't tripped, I'd have been hamburger.

They served "Good Food" but only a G, an O and a D were lit up. Personally, I doubted God dined there. Unless God was keen on samonella poisoning and rat droppings in the hamburgers. But then again, what did I know?

Skinny guys fight till they're burger.

That's why I loved being with you. We could do the simplest things, like toss starfish into the ocean and share a burger and talk and even then I knew that I was fortunate. Because you were the first guy who wasn't constantly trying to impress me. You accepted who you were, but more than that, you accepted me for me. And nothing else mattered-- not my family or your family or anyone else in the world. It was just us.

You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.

Obviously the easiest recipes are the most successful when it comes to the home cook because they're not intimidated by them. If I'm doing 'Boy Meets Grill ' and I do something very simple like grilled hamburgers or steaks or chicken those are the most sought-after recipes.

I'm on a health kick! I'm drawn to cheeseburgers so I've got to just try and keep it on an even keel.

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America even if it's in Hamburger Technology.

My very first job was a cashier at Burger King in Tucson Arizona. And I occasionally worked the drive-thru. I'd go wherever I was needed! My second job was at Dairy Queen. I stayed in the fast food royalty.

We cover hamburgers chicken veggie burgers salads we've got a pretty broad range. To me McDonald's isn't only about the food. It's about the prices it's about the way we eat.

But once in a while you might see me at In and Out Burger they make the best fast food hamburgers around.

When I hosted the dinner I served fast food hamburgers. It had nothing to do with black white purple yellow green race. it had nothing to do with Tiger or his family or his golf game.

In the States you can buy Chinese food. In Beijing you can buy hamburger. It's very close. Now I feel the world become a big family like a really big family. You have many neighbors. Not like before two countries are far away.

The number one mistake is giving pets table scraps. I made the mistake thinking I was showing my dog love by giving her food and treats. You see a tiny 4 oz. piece of cheese but for a Boston Terrier like mine that's like one and a half hamburgers. That's unhealthy.

You know most of the food that Americans hold so dear - things like hamburgers and hot dogs - were road food but even before they were road food they were peasant food.

One of the glories of New York is its ethnic food and only McDonald's and Burger King equalize us all.

With the counseling of my family doctor my mother ended up turning to Weight Watchers and their children's program. I went to weekly meetings got counseling and would exercise with my peers who were my size. It was the first time I saw a proper children's portion size and it wasn't two burgers it was one.

I can't be on the cheeseburger diet all the time.