To this day my mom's unsinkable spirit is an inspiration to me. For nearly thirty years she's worked at the Library of Congress. Everyone knows Sameha simply as 'Sami.' Along with 500 miles of shelved books her closest friendships are cataloged in that library. They are as much the value of work to my mom as is the work itself.

Not that we didn't have close relationships with our parents - I'm very close to my mom - but parents didn't think anything of going off for a few weeks and leaving their kids.

The fact that I'm very close with my past relationships is something I pride myself on. My mom is still close to her first husband. It's nice to be able to enjoy someone in a different form.

Financial hardships were rough on us even though Mom had a good job at G.M.

What makes a woman beautiful is her loyalty to and her friendships with other women and her honesty with men.

Instead I think over the years we have cut the strength of marriage and relationships by the law and weakened the institution. We have tried to deal with relationships with no-fault divorce with child custody with so many other avenues and it has not helped.

So I really did stop and change what I saw I was about and really try to put that principle into play as the center of everything - my friendships my marriage my career my family my way of being in the world. And that changed everything for me.

It's only fair that stable gay relationships of long standing should have the same rights and responsibilities as married couples. I know the image of gay marriage is to some people horrific and ludicrous.

I think long-lasting healthy relationships are more important than the idea of marriage. At the root of every successful marriage is a strong partnership.

I've exchanged messages and photos of an explicit nature with about six women over the last three years. For the most part these communications took place before my marriage though some have sadly took place after. To be clear I have never met any of these women or had physical relationships at any time.

Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: that society is based on the future of the society. And that's what? Children. Monogamous relationships.

My parents had a great marriage. Interestingly it made it harder for me in relationships because I knew what a good relationship looked like.

Since 1970 relationships can be more volatile jobs more ephemeral geographical mobility more intensified stability of marriage weaker.

But I will agree that I think that things happen with people in relationships that you might have been able to enjoy Morocco say if you weren't getting out of a bad marriage. You know what I mean?

I've had two terrific relationships but both ended in marriage.

I never had a policy about marriage. I got married very young in life and I always think in all relationships I've always thought that it's counterproductive to have a theory on that.

I have no difficulty with the recognition of civil unions for non-traditional relationships but I believe in law we should protect the traditional definition of marriage.

A man's friendships are like his will invalidated by marriage - but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends.

I have not supported same-sex marriage. I have supported civil partnerships and contractual relationships.

Ships that pass in the night and speak each other in passing only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness So on the ocean of life we pass and speak one another only a look and a voice then darkness again and a silence.

However saying that I totally support the concept of civil partnerships in the eyes of the law and think it a disgrace that same sex couples have had to wait so long for legal rights protection and recognition.

Most sailing ships take what they call trainees who pay to be part of the crew. The Picton Castle takes people who are absolutely raw recruits. But you can't just ride along. You're learning to steer the ship navigation you're pulling lines keeping a lookout in the galley you're cooking.

A lot of what I've been learning in the last two years is due to therapy - about my sexuality why things go wrong why relationships haven't worked. It isn't anything to do with anybody else it's to do with me.

We're learning how important it is both to preserve sibling relationships if they work and repair them if they're broken. We're also learning a lot about nonliteral siblings - stepsiblings half-siblings - and the surprising power they can have.