You know I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end.

It was always a fantasy of mine growing up - my favorite program was always 'Little House on the Prairie' - so I always wanted to wear those looks. When I was a child I wouldn't let my mom put me in anything but calico dresses and now... whaddaya know every day I'm in a calico dress basically so it's kind of funny.

I always find it kind of embarrassing kind of funny and kind of exciting. In New York I'm recognized a lot although nobody says anything. You know they stare at you just a second too long. But in Paris it's not as commonplace to be recognized.

My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration.

I think there have always been funny women from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there she's had to prove that she can be the leader first and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control.

Laurence Olivier said in an interview once that when he plays a tragedy he always aims for the funny parts and the other way around. Because in a comedy you look for what's serious. I think that's true. Sometimes things are really funny if you're absolutely earnest. If you're really serious it's hilarious.

At home in L.A. Sunday is lazy. It's the wife and me lying in bed with coffee watching 'The Soup' or something funny on TiVo. The kid will occasionally join us. Eventually breakfast is at a place down the street called Paty's. And we always have some kind of great dinner - my wife makes a great roast beef.

There's always an article coming out saying 'The new thing is funny women!'

The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny you've immediately halved the odds of it not being funny.

I always like to watch comics and it's interesting that you can tell if someone's funny in 10 seconds.

And I like to keep whatever is mine remaining that way. It's a funny little game to play and it's a slippery slope. I always say to myself I'm never going to give anything away because there's never any point or benefit for me.

I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn't want to do it. But everyone had to do it so I didn't have a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It's funny because I'd always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn't think that I would be in the movies.

Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And when in doubt make funny faces.

I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go.

The people I grew up around who I really liked were quick on the draw. It always just wowed me. And my mum would make weird funny comments. I can see in myself her self-deprecating hippie humour. I can't take myself too seriously.

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson who's really funny for a cartoonist obviously.

In my circle of friends I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.

I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me it's really about who I surround myself with so I just try to always be with hilarious people.

I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am a socialist at heart and have the interests of the poor in mind. When people see how I manage to work my way out of tough situations it gives them hope in their own life.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid they told me I was being funny.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.

It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics that action and reaction are equal and opposite that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger.

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.