I tried to bake a cake for my mother's birthday - it took me four hours. It was terrible and I cried for three days.

Anybody can have a birthday. It requires nothing. Murderers have birthdays. It's the opposite of anything that I believe in. And I don't like at work where you stop everything to sing 'Happy Birthday' to someone. I feel like that's for children.

When I was a kid for my birthday every year my mother made me pasta bechamel which is rigatoni with a white cream sauce.

I like to go to anybody else's birthday and if I'm invited I'm a good guest. But I never celebrate my birthdays. I really don't care.

The worst part about celebrating another birthday is the shock that you're only as well as you are.

I left school on my 15th birthday.

Every day every birthday candle I blow out every penny I throw over my shoulder in a wishing well every time my daughter says 'Let's make a wish on a star ' there's one thing I wish for: wisdom.

I just had my 30th birthday and we went turkey shooting. It's what I wanted to do so we went.

I want a chainsaw very badly because I think cutting down a tree would be unbelievably satisfying. I have asked for a chainsaw for my birthday but I think I'll probably be given jewelry instead.

My ace in the hole as a human being used to be my capacity for remembering birthdays. I worked at it. Whenever I made a new friend I made a point of finding out his or her birthday early on and I would record it in my Filofax calendar.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party and I'm thinking 'Hey I've still got it.'

I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest but when they told me I could never have sex not even on my birthday I changed my mind.

Some people won't go the extra mile and then on their birthday when no one makes a fuss they feel neglected and bitter.

It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time then two years later you'll be like 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'

I'm most comfortable in my birthday suit.

Mum loves me being famous! She is so excited and proud as she had me so young and couldn't support me so I am living her dream it's sweeter for both of us. It's her 40th birthday soon and I'm going to buy her 40 presents.

You know maybe I was just born in the wrong time but I love all things romantic. Puffy understands that. For my last birthday he covered my hotel room floor with rose petals and had flowers and candles all over the room.

Just hit my 75th birthday I'm feeling great!

It was my 16th birthday - my mom and dad gave me my Goya classical guitar that day. I sat down wrote this song and I just knew that that was the only thing I could ever really do - write songs and sing them to people.

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year but I used the wrong paper. See the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.

I crashed my boyfriend's birthday when I was 12 years old. He didn't invite me and so I showed up.

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.