Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes 1820

George Bernard Shaw

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be...

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved.

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I...

I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a...

Robin Williams learned technique. He has the technique of being funny.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you...

What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a...

Gilbert Gottfried

If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke...

What bothers most critics of my work is the goofiness. One reviewer said I...

I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD...

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be...

With all singers, insecurity is your best security. That's why we're such...

If I studied all my life I couldn't think up half the number of funny things...

It's funny. When I saw the script in my inbox and it said 'Sparkle ' I...

When I go to a bar I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of...

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

I tell girls all the time that the men that have fallen in love with me have...

I remember listening to the radio as a kid and finding that the songs always...

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type...

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

I'm a funny guy. I want people to laugh. I laugh at myself, I make fun of...

Logan Pearsall Smith

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.

Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are...

What's funny is my husband doesn't have any tattoos at all so he must be the...

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Francis Bacon Nature

Revenge is a kind of wild justice which the more a man's nature runs to the more ought law to weed it out.

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